Informal Feminism

{June 19, 2011}   The Importance of Fathers

So it’s Father’s Day and I wanted to focus on fatherhood as a result. Feminism often gets a bad rap when it comes to men; we are seen as deploring them and wishing that they did not exist. This could not be farther from truth, for most of us, we have respect for men we just wish to be equal to them. In my life I have several men whom I love and respect, my father is one of these men. Father’s play an integral part in their child’s life; in my life my father helped to show me that I could be whoever I wish to be. He loves me unconditionally and is proud of all my accomplishments. He was the person who showed me how to properly hammer a nail and paint a house. He made me able to work a power saw without cutting off one of limbs but teaching me construction techniques was not all he was good for. He also helped to teach me how to respect myself and respect other people. My father is a strong, responsible and loving man without whom I am not sure I would have turned out as good as I did. While we have our clash’s, because we are too much alike everyone tells us, he is always looking out for my best interest and just wants me to be happy. So I want to send a shout out to one of the most important men in my life and tell him how much I love him and am proud to be his daughter.

In my life my father played a large role in helping to contribute to my core values and the way that I choose to live my life. I think this is something that can get looked over when we are discussing child raising, we tend to focus on the mother as a solo parent and push men out of the picture. Often this is a result of seeing a slanted division of labour within the household, where the women are doing more of the home responsibilities but to say that all father’s lack influence in their child’s life is unfair. I often see fathers, as much as mothers, being portrayed in a certain light. When I turn on any television sitcom with a family, the father is always a slob who works and does not care for the child raising responsibilities he leaves it to the mom. However, when I look at the men whom I know that are fathers they are the opposite, they take an active role in the child’s life and are proud to say that they are helping to shape this person into who they will become. They can not wait to see how they develop and in what ways their influence as a father has on their child.

The other person in my life who is a father is my partner. I am now getting to know a different side of fatherhood then the experience of my own. I can understand better those decision’s my father made for us as children when he would tell us no or take the time to explain how we had made a mistake. It wasn’t out of a need to be mean to us but out of love and wanting to make sure that we grew up to be smart, sensible and loving adults. I watch my partner with his son and you can tell that he is love for him is overflowing and he will do everything he can to partake in his sons life and help shape him into a responsible and caring adult who has respect for himself and others.

It is these images that I see when I think of fatherhood. I see my father and my partner and my friends who are fathers and watch them go out of their way to provide for and love their children. While often we want to say that men do not take an active role in their children’s lives, and that may be true in some cases, but there are fathers who love their children beyond themselves and wish to do their best by them and they deserve to be acknowledged and appreciated. Fathers also play a key role in developing a respect for women. The father’s I know want to instil in a daughter a respect for herself and in their sons a respect for women, so in that aspect can be important in helping shape a new generations view of women. I think that is something important to keep in mind when it comes to feminism because we often want to blame men for their lack of support but we have to remember that a lot of men out there are working hard to be part of their family’s lives, be active in their children’s life and leave their children with values of equality and respect. So today if you have a father that you love and respect tell him how important he is to you.


Marnie says:

What a beautiful post………………

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